With only two (action packed) weeks to go until departure it was time to begin to farewell this fair country that I have called home for most of my life and what better way to do it than in full Aussie glory – that’s right shelas and blokes, you guessed it, BOGAN style! With the theme set and the venue booked (ladies night at the Down Under) all that was left to do was gather my mates, don the flannies, wife beaters and thongs and embrace the inner bogan (some seemed to find this task A LOT easier than others).
Starting the night with drinks in our spacious dorm (and I say spacious not in a sarcastic way – these rooms were HUGE.. however this may have been compensation from the bathrooms that would have left you cleaner had you not entered them), the night progressed downstairs where we, unable to completely ‘boganise’, skipped the bogan beverage of choice (a stubby of beer for those of you not familiar with the bogan way of life) in favour of free champers, $5 cocktail pints and $3 shots! As you can imagine with drinks soooo cheap it wasn’t long before we were up starting the dance floor and creating scenes that left every backpacker in the bar wanting to join our bogan exploits.
After hours of gracing the d-floor with moves like the ‘sprinkler’ (one hand on head elbow bent and one hand out straight, pulsing as you move in a circle), the ‘shopping trolley’ (self explanatory – see the grocery, grab it from the shelf and put it in the trolley), the ‘lawnmower’ (again self explanatory) and a whole host of nameless others that cannot be described with words it was finally that time of the night that every lady in the bar had been waiting for…….. THE STRIPPER! Once the dance floor was cleared the bar was filled with squeals and cheers as a ‘police officer’ gyrated and de-clothed himself to tunes which by this stage I was too drunk to remember. After witnessing how it was done, it was time for the amateurs who had been dressed up in charity shop dresses all night (in attempt to fool the bar staff and take advantage of the ‘ladies specials’) to claim a space on stage to take it all off in order to win a trip to the beautiful Whitsundays – WHAT A HOOT!.
A few more drinks and many questionable dance moves later I managed to nab myself a $50 bar tab and 15.. err make that 40 seconds of fame for my ability to demonstrate a significantly larger number of intimate positions in a 40 second time span than any other couple in the competition (in all fairness though I will admit the strength of my partner may have had a lot to do with this).
Shortly after the time had come for all the good little bogans to pop off to bed while Steph and I continued to work our magic on the Dance floor until we were practically kicked off at shutting time. At 4am, finally agreeing to call it a night.. or should I say morning? We staggered back to our dorm (past a Mexican intent of giving us crack cocaine) and curled up top and toe for a few short hours of beauty sleep.
THIS WAS DEFINITELY ONE SEND OFF I WILL NEVER FORGET!!!
Wishing you Peace, Love & Happiness
Jessica Dawn Xx
